Valentine’s Day fills our high streets with hearts, flowers, and the language of love. But for many families across Medway, this time of year tells a very different story, one that we at Home-Start Medway see and hear every day.

This Valentine’s Day, we want to talk about something important: Love Shouldn’t Hurt.

What Love Should Feel Like

Real love, in all its forms, should feel safe. It should feel like being heard, respected, and valued. It should mean having the freedom to be yourself, to see your friends and family, and to make your own choices.

Healthy love lifts you up. It doesn’t tear you down.

When Love Becomes Harmful

Domestic abuse doesn’t always look like what we see on television. It isn’t always visible. It can look like:

• A partner who controls the family finances, leaving you without money of your own
• Someone who isolates you from the people who care about you
• Constant criticism that chips away at your confidence and sense of self-worth
• Monitoring your phone, your whereabouts, or who you spend time with
• Emotional manipulation that leaves you feeling confused, guilty, or responsible
• Threats, intimidation, or physical harm

Abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, or circumstance. It happens in all kinds of relationships. And if you are a parent — or pregnant — the impact on your children and your family can be profound.

You are not alone. And it is never your fault.

The Families We Support

At Home-Start Medway, we work alongside families with young children who are going through some of the most difficult periods of their lives. Domestic abuse is one of the most significant challenges many of the families we support have faced in their lives.

Our trained volunteer home visitors offer a consistent, non-judgmental, and compassionate presence, someone who simply shows up, listens, and walks alongside you. We don’t judge. We don’t tell you what to do. We believe in your strength, even when you struggle to see it yourself.

Here at Home-Start Medway we have Yvette, our dedicated Domestic Abuse Co-ordinator, who runs her fantastic One-Stop-Shop, DA Café for people who have suffered DA to meet and support each other. She does some amazing work around Medway and have helped many. 

If Something Doesn’t Feel Right

If you recognise any of these signs in your own relationship, or in the relationship of someone you care about, please know that support is available.

You don’t have to be in immediate danger to reach out. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to take one small step.

Talk to someone you trust. That might be a friend, a family member, your GP, a health visitor, or us.

Getting Help

National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours a day) nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Medway-based support – MIDAS (Medway Integrated Domestic Abuse Service) medway.gov.uk/domesticabuse

Oasis (Kent and Medway)
0800 917 9948
For non-emergency support.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 09:30–11:30am, 12:30–2:30pm
Thursday and Friday 09:30–11:30am
(except bank holidays)
helpline@oasisdaservice.org

Home-Start Medway If you have children under five and are struggling, we are here for you. Contact us at: 01634 570717